![]() When play gets intense, I can become non-verbal.I want to not have to be in control for a while.I want to feel beautiful / exposed / vulnerable / safe / competent / in control / loved / sexy / desired / powerful / afraid / overwhelmed / ….I need you to be always confident and in control.I like it when you call me slut and whore, but don’t call me bitch or cunt.I want you to be loving / rough / gentle / angry / mocking / strict / demanding with me.I’m secretly auditioning you as a play partner / lover.I’m looking for an occasional / ongoing play partner.It’s important to me that you do what you want without worrying about what I like.Fundamentally, I want you to do what I want.This scene will be a success for me if….I want to learn / practice a new skill.I want to do something once, to say I’ve done it.I want to try something new to see if I like it.And, obviously, feel free to add / modify sentences as you see fit. Rather than giving your partner a filled-in version of this list, consider giving them a short list of the sentences that most resonated for you. Rather, look at this as a collection of ideas that may be useful to you in understanding yourself, or that you may want your partner to know about you. This isn’t meant to be a checklist: don’t go down the page putting 1s and 4s and NOs next to each line, or circling things in red and green ink. ![]() ![]() Hopefully you’ll find it to be of some use. It’s primarily meant for bottoms, and is doubtless more than a little idiosyncratic. Here’s a first stab at creating the tool that I’ve been looking for but haven’t found. What I really want is not so much a list of activities, but rather a peek inside their head: what makes them tick, and what would it take to make them tock? I’ve found, though, that this sheet doesn’t really meet my needs when I’m negotiating with a new partner, especially someone who’s fairly new to kink. Obviously I could use some help with creating the helper definitions where although busy work for the creator, they should be helpful quick reference to beginners.I’m a big fan of the fantastic one page negotiation checklist created by It’s succinct, well-organized, and does a great job of summarizing what you actually need to know during casual pick-up play. The fancy colors get a bit busted when exporting the google docs file and then opening back up in google docs so the in app link is preferred while the xlsx file is just for backup.Īlthough I tried to make this first public release a solid starting point, I look forward to hearing any input. An example would be having a core set of likes, but interested in doing shibari with one person yet would rather look into spanking with a different person.įormat wise I tried to make an older 2003 format one so more versions could open and use it. This is a common want with varying activity interest depending on play partners. Another big plus is once one is filled out, it is easy to adjust and make new variants. I went ahead and left out extreme stuff such as bestiality since typically illegal, however thanks to the Excel format it is easy for anyone to add something they feel is missing. Just skip around to the sections that interest you to share about with others. My main advice would be to hang in there and not feel like everything has to be filled out. I wanted to make sure to have the core list overall complete, but this may come off as a bit much to beginners. This way one can quickly see the Loves and Hates then go back for a second pass for finer detail. It may look busy at first, but the color coding really helps making the checklist scan-able for key information. The notes section can be really handy to give a quick declaration of why one gave the interest level for said item or clarify special circumstances. For a while it was considered mostly just accounting type software, but now thanks to Google Docs and other online systems the Excel file format is much more accessible.Īs for the main layout I wanted to make sure someone could declare interest, existing experience, and then a section for notes to clarify any particulars. Ranging from pdfs, to doc files, to websites, they all were pretty much a mess and then it came to me that trying to use an Excel file was a no brainer. On my research to find a decent preexisting checklist it seemed something was always missing, they weren't always easy to share, and the data on a completed checklist wasn't always easy to review. Using Excel as the main platform it may come off a bit nerdy, however the format is much easier to open and use these days. After scouring the net and generally not being satisfied with any checklists out there I took matters in my own hands to make one that would be an obvious improvement.
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